A Lament of Weakness

So today's post is about my own stubborn and inane psyche. I would guess, however that the phenomena about which I will speak is fairly common among the rest of the plebes.

First let's start with a little background. I grew up in a small town (actually it was an area that was 30 minutes away from a small town) in Eastern Kentucky. Not exactly cosmopolitan. I also won't say that I had an impoverished upbringing. Let's call it "humble." Due to this early start, let's just say that you wouldn't call me the most travelled of people. In fact when I graduated college at 22, I had never been out of the country. Since then I have made it to Mexico on business, and for the record never ever stay for more than the length of a layover in Mexico City. Just don't.

On to the story. The other day I am at work and my boss calls me into his office. He begins explaining some issues that have been happening at one of our clients' installations. Then I hear these words, "How do you like snails?"

I suppose for some reason the way this statement came at me and entered into my head was just somehow threatening. I knew what he was asking. Would I be willing to travel to Paris and work for a week? And I was defensive. I immediately started spouting off all of the inconveniences this was going to cause me. I would have to have someone take care of my dog. I would have to change the timeline on my other projects. I would have to get something done about my knee. Eventually I reluctantly agreed and began lamenting my unfortunate situation.

Then I went back to my office and sat down in my chair. It was at this point, at the desk which is intentionally reserved for the most logical of thoughts, that the rational me stepped in. I asked myself, "When was the last time you had a chance to go to Paris, or Europe for that matter?"

"Well, I don't guess I ever have," reactionary Hunter replied with a sliver of humility in his tone.

"And how many chances do you suppose you'll get aside from this?" came the condescending drip of the rational side of my brain. He can really be a pretentious ass sometimes, but I deal with him because he's usually right.

"I suppose very few. I see your point, please don't go on one of your rants." The measure of hope at the end of that statement was audible, even in my head.

But of course it was too late. The rational side had gotten indignant and was on his pedestal. "So you're telling me that when faced with the prospect of a BETTER THAN FREE trip to Paris, France that the first thing you thought of was 'Oh no, what am I going to do with my dog?'..." Nothing from the primal side.

"That's good. You don't say anything. You disgust me."

The preceding was an actual (paraphrased) conversation between the two competing ideas in my head that morning and the end result is the same. I was disgusted with myself for going straight to the bad in the face of a very good situation. Since that I've noticed it happens more than I had noticed before. There's no real point to this post I guess other than the obvious feel good, pseudo-evangelical mantra of, "Try to see the good in all situations." Which I would like to append to.

"Try to see the good in all situations. Especially if they are overwhelmingly good situations to begin with. Retard."